Synthesis Coaching

Frustrated and Overwhelmed Not Reaching Goals? Just Say "NO"

All of us women business owners (myself included) are chock-full of ideas and projects that we want to implement.

Yet, I often find many of the women business owners that I coach frustrated and overwhelmed.

What gives?

What I often find hiding in plain sight right under our nose is that as women we often have too many commitments and have spread ourselves too thin.

Lindsey Pollak wrote a terrific post about this issue that I'd love to share with you.

Lindsey took the "just say no" challenge and trimmed down her appointment and commitments. Do you know what she was surprised to discover?

No One Actually Noticed!

So, this month I'm following LIndsey's lead and making it a NO-vember...so if you have a request for me this NO-vember, the answer will probably be a firm but polite "no".

 

Stuck? Avoid Analysis Paralysis and Get Moving (Finally)

Analysis Paralysis is a common cause of being stuck and it can be down right sneaky. Analysis paralysis can trick us — we're busy, busy, busy....yet we're just spinning our wheels!

• Do you see yourself in any of these behaviors?

• Wanting to have "all your ducks in a row" before you get started?

• Wanting to learn everything you can before you take action?

• Wanting to wait until the right time?

• Wanting to get more information and continue researching before moving ahead?

• Wanting to make a decision yet not making any decision?

Successful people are those who take *action* on their ideas and projects and focus on what they want — in spite of the fact that they don't have every aspect figured out. Most times we get an opportunity to fill in those blanks once we get started.

Here are 5 tips I use with my clients to get past *stuck* and into *action*:

1. Set a deadline: Decide how much time you will allocate to your project. Use your calendar as the powerful tool it is!

2. Get An Accountability Partner: Go out and get yourself support from your coach and others who will cheer you forward to success. I"m learning that it's really impossible to have too much support!

3. Take the Emotion Away: Sometimes we get stuck in analysis paralysis because we're fighting an emotion regarding the situation. A great way to take the emotion out of it is too write down the pros and cons on paper or do a mind map.

4. Kill Your Sacred Cows: Too often our analysis is colored by what's happened in the past. Memory is great but it can be a tyrant! Look at your situation with fresh eyes and don't be swayed by what worked in the past or by what is customarily done.

5. Forgo Perfection: Strive to be your best rather than perfect. Continually spending time and energy on being perfect means you're bogged down and ultimately unproductive.

I invite you to share what's worked for you in getting free of the "sneaky" grip of analysis paralysis.

Overachiever? Live One Day Fully!

Have a vision, get a plan, and work it toward our goals and dreams.

Doing, working, working, working. That's how things get done, so I'm not knocking it....Yet, we can find ourselves looking forward *or behind* so much that we don't really see the beauty and magic right under our noses.

Summer offers all of us a wonderful opportunity....just step outside and be present to what is being offered to us today. 

Be in this day fully and feel its magic.

Live this day fully! Just BE!

Perfection = Being Stuck?

 

Many of the women business owners I work with are also Moms and that means they're juggling lots of balls.

Women are the traffic controllers of their families, making sure that everything and everyone is launching and returning without major accidents or delays.

As business owners they have no shortage of ideas and projects they want to do. Yet, sometimes they get stuck! Their great ideas remain as IDEAS, not getting implemented. So what's going on?

One culprit is the quest for perfection. As a recovering perfection myself, I thought you'd enjoy reading what Kim DeYoung at MetroMom has to say about it.

How do you keep yourself stuck? Let me know!

Five Ways to Counter Common Business Doubts

No matter where you are in the life cycle of your business — just launching, made it past the five-year mark, or more established and mature — each business owner needs to have dreams (a.k.a. goals in business parlance) for where the business is headed.

One common thread that Ive noticed in coaching small business owners is once there is clarity about a dream/goal there is ALWAYS self-talk in the form of doubts pulling in the opposite direction.

Here a the top 5 doubts and how to counter them:

#1 Undoubtedly is “What If”:  Say you want to write and publish a book. Almost immediately you might hear the negative self-talk of “What if the book never sells?” “What if it gets awful reviews?” How do you counter that? Take a piece of paper and on one side write your goal and what you want to accomplish and the other side write your doubts and fears. Now tear the paper in half ---- yeah, actually tear it! Tearing this paper clearly demonstrates that doubts really are separate from your dreams/goals and you can then better choose where to focus your attention and energy.

#2 I don’t have enough money: I have a client who wanted to start her own home decorating business but didn’t think she had the money. After coming to a few sessions I asked the obvious question of how much money she needed. Her reply was, “I don’t know, but I know I don’t have enough.” How do you counter that?  Get clear about how much money you really DO need. Then explore your options. Could you barter or trade? Is there a different way to do the same thing that would require less money? We tend to make our dreams smaller even before we fully explore how to make them happen.

#3 I don’t have enough time: Of course, if you don’t have enough money, you don’t have enough time either. Another client, who lives in NYC, is always telling me that she doesn’t have enough time to clear the clutter from her apartment in order to create and store new products to expand her existing line. She IS busy so how do you counter that?  Be really honest with yourself and determine if what you’re saying you want is truly something you want! Deal with your time shortage by learning and using the word, “NO” in order to rid yourself of commitments that are time stealers for you. Finally, get the project done by chunking it down into manageable bits; decide to clean out one bookcase or all of your old files.

#4 I’m not good enough/tall enough/young enough/smart enough/attractive enough:  How do you counter that? Catch yourself in the act. Start to listen for the voice of your own self-doubt and when you catch yourself heading down the old (and negative) path…stop!  Replace the negative self-talk with positive statements, “I’m taking a step forward”, “If other people have done this, so can I.” Another tool is to remind yourself of what you do well, including big accomplishments as well as smaller ones that may not be visible to others, like “I made that phone call that I was putting off for weeks.”

#5 Looking and chasing perfection: This is about waiting for the perfect time, waiting until you know more, waiting until the economy gets better, etc. It may sound clichéd but now is the only time we all have.

I urge you to use the tools explored to counter these 5 common doubts. Don’t allow your doubts to undermine your business growth and success.

 

Entrepreneurs - Stop Procrastinating Because You Don't Have Enough Money

 

I have an amazing client Carol (not her real name) who has launched a skin care line and is ready to expand by adding new products. After two coaching sessions where she told me that she really didn't have the money to take this next step, I asked her the obvious question, "How much money do you need?"

Carol's answer was immediate; "Oh, I don't know, but I know I don't have enough!".

That is the kind of "logic" that we all use, if you can call it that....but not really the thinking you need when you're making a business decision.

Just as I was in the middle of writing this post, Naomi over at IttyBiz was talking about the exact same money issue. It's kismet!

OK, let's say $40,000 is the magic number Carol needs to launch, how will she allocate that money? Will the launch require ads, a graphic designer for layouts, or a sales person to make additional calls on existing retail stores? Naomi at IttyBiz always tells it like it is. Usually the answer to how the money will be budgeted is = Blank Stare.

Get clear about how much money you really DO need. Map it out and then explore your options. Could you accomplish your goal by bartering or trading some goods or services? There could also be a different way to reach the same goal requiring less money.

Stop shrinking your goals before you fully explore how to make them happen! Get the clear about how much money you really DO need!

To your adventures to transformation. ™

Go Get Yourself 100 No's

In a coaching session with my client Brenda (not her real name) she told me she was stuck lacking the action piece of reaching a goal. I'm sure as a small business owner you can definitely relate.

Are you stuck in the muck and mud of inaction with a business goal because you're so heavily invested in the outcome? Are you afraid to go out on a limb and ask for what you want and need? Maybe you're afraid of doing the pitch wrong, making a mistake, or reaching out to others (strangers) that you don't know. Often our fears can keep us playing small and ultimately rob us from our best.

Brenda's goal was to recruit additional sellers under her in a multi-level marketing company she runs with her husband.

What got me really excited was her unique way she was planning on reaching her goal. Instead of going the usual route of defining a goal, x sellers by x date, Brenda's strategy is to rack up 100 No's.

WOW! How exciting to tip the goal model on its head and to use the rejections to spur her to success rather than stop her from moving forward. Let's be honest, we all know just how much we enjoy hearing the word "no", whether it be in response to a business pitch or to a request we've made from a friend or significant other.

Even though none of us looks forward to hearing "no," every good businesswoman worth her salt knows that it can take at least six contacts, and multiple "no's" with any prospect before they are converted to a customer or client.

Brenda also has a unique idea of how she will track her "no's". She has decided to track them on a ledger posted on the refrigerator so that they are visible to both her and her husband; visible insurance that they're moving toward "yes".

Business challenge: Fire yourself up in your own business by deciding on a goal and going after 100 no's.

I'd love to hear how this spurs your growth.

Cozy in Your Comfort Zone?

 
I'm always eager to read the 60-second newsletter Working Solo Minute by Terri Lornier when I see it sitting in my in box. A recent issue talked about how easy it is to get comfortable in our comfort zones.

Here's three factors that Terri noted keep soloists and women business owners snuggled up tight:

1. Fear of Failure:
It's so much easier not to risk making a fool of oneself, and to push away any feelings of doubt and anxiety. Ironically, it's not stretching one's boundaries that can lead to failure. Scan your own behavior patterns and see where you're avoiding risk. Take a conscious step toward trying something new—whether it's a small action or a major undertaking.

2. Overwhelmed with Opportunities:
Faced with a surfeit of possibilities, many soloists choose to do nothing. Sometimes that can be a prudent path, but more often, it leads to stagnation. As theologian Harvey Cox observed: "Not to decide is to decide." Avoid the paralysis that comes from the self-imposed pressure of making a "perfect" choice. Assess the options. Choose. Act.

3. Procrastination:
The thing about being in your comfort zone is that it is so, well, comfortable. "I can always do that tomorrow," we tell ourselves. Only that "tomorrow" can extend to weeks, months, and sometimes years. If there are items on your To-Do, Want-To, or Goals list, I encourage you to stare them down. Either chart a specific deadline, or scratch them from the list. For those that remain, determine the next action step -- and do that. The larger goal may be intimidating, but often the smaller pieces stretch us in more subtle ways. Multiple incremental accomplishments can aggregate into a major achievement -- with little mental resistance or discomfort.

I'd like to add the following to her list:

4. Gotten used to Complaining:

Sometimes it is easier to complain or bad-mouth "WHY" you don't have something than it is to risk stepping further out on the diving board of change.

5. Fear of the Unknown:

Fear of the unknown keeps us in our comfort zones, even when we're miserable where we presently are. I remember my grandfather saying that "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't".

6. Lack of support or an accountability buddy:

Most of us need support and encouragement to move outside of our comfort zones. Find a coach to work with to support you and for you to be accountable to or a good friend. 

What can you add to this list? I know there's more:). I look forward to hearing from you.

Accidental Success

•  Have you ever accidentally lost 25 pounds? 
• Is your successful relationship with your husband accidental? 
• Do you wake up one morning like Rip Van Winkle to discover that your business is rip-roaring successful? 

Success doesn't happen by accident. Success needs a plan and then diligently working the plan.

But, wait a minute some folks really DO get lucky. What about the business owner who tapped into the right service with the right marketing hook and makes a truckload of money overnight?

She still works a bit, but she's enjoying a liberal dose of "the good life" with waterfront property, taking monthly trips to NYC and Broadway, and indulging in exotic spa vacations.

As Coree Silvera over at Market Like a Chick says in her post, this is the beach beach bum definition of success. 

I absolutely LOVE her visual image of what happens next. If you've ever enjoyed floating in the water simply relaxing you've experienced this! After a while you notice that the current has taken you away, further and further from where you initially started.

It’s okay to relish in success, but remember that life doesn’t stop moving.  

You need clear goals along with a plan to get into action and make it work.

Without these essentials, you'll float along in life getting distracted and not really knowing where you're headed or where you'll end up.

So, how do you define success?

Get really clear and specific. For example, don't just say "I would have lots of customers" but instead fine tune the description to "I would have 20 clients grossing $5,000 monthly." See the difference?

Maybe you're not ready to get into action yet. That's OK. Do research including talking to people who have what you already want (living part of the year in Florida,) or have already succeeded at what you're trying to do (building and selling wooden furniture). 

If you remember nothing at all, remember that accidental success is a myth. Think of the duck swimming in the pond. As the duck is blissfully gliding along the water...........his feet are moving furiously below.

To your adventures to transformation ™ !

How'm I doin? The Wisdom of Ed Koch

Ed Koch, the former Mayor of New York City, is my patron saint of asking.

Why? His famous phrase was “how’m I doing?”and he used it absolutely everywhere — at black-tie functions, newscasts, and even when meeting fellow New Yorkers on the streets of the city.

At first glance his phrase can appear to be kitschy, but in truth there was a lot of boldness and courage in his asking along with a heart-felt invitation to interact and give him feedback.

Just think for a moment what impact Mayor Koch’s “how’m I doing” could have on your business? Some amazing benefits of asking:

• You could get the pulse of what’s top-of-mind from your market right now
• You could identify a weakness in an area of your company that you weren’t aware of, such as customer service, or billing.
• You could find out what your clients really like about working with you and what sets you apart from the competition.
• You could get true jewels of information to use when soliciting new business
• You could get information on a product or service that your market is wanting but that your company is not yet providing

But, most importantly:

• So few business owners actually ask and this in itself will set you apart from the crowd!
  Plus your customers or clients would feel that you cared enough to ask and take the time to truly listen.

So forget about dreaming up and sending out fancy surveys, forms, comment cards, focus groups, or any other high fallutin’ method of gathering information.

Just ask “how’m I doing?” and listen. What are you learning?.